Mudshot Eyes

Thanks to Krista, we have a first edition copy of the book The Prayers of Kierkegaard, from which comes this prayer for humility. May it resonate…

God in Heaven, Let me really feel my nothingness, not in order to despair over it, but in order to feel the more powerfully the greatness of Thy goodness.

“For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”
- Luke 14:11

I used to wrestle with a friend of mine in junior high and the first part of high school, and made a habit of having my butt kicked early and often. Early on in our duels, I was about as feisty as I was unskilled, which led to some interesting wrestling matches. The object was always to be the first to force the other to say “uncle.” Typically we would get to this point using a headlock, squeezing to the point where our eyes began to feel like they were going to pop out of our skulls. I rarely won the contests, but as time went on, I learned to endure more and more, which made it increasingly difficult to get me to say “uncle” and give up.

One afternoon I was under the grip of a headlock that usually led to my defeat. On that day, my determination was on full crank. He squeezed until my face turned blue, then finally my nose began to bleed down to his arm, probably the result of a popped blood vessel. In his shock from the sight of blood, he released my neck and I immediately jumped up exclaiming my “victory.”

Of course, I didn’t really win that match, but I certainly didn’t lose. Jacob of the Bible had a similar experience in Genesis 32 when he went to the mat with an God in the middle of the night. The story says that they wrestled until God had to put Jacob’s hip out of socket in order to subdue him.

The good part comes next, as Jacob refuses to let go, even with a dislocated hip. “I will not let you go unless you bless me,” he says. God changed Jacob’s name that night to “Israel,” which means God-Grappler.

God has established a clear pattern of initiating encounters with his people. Jacob’s wrestling match is one example that is not unlike the many times he has done this in our own lives.

God engages us in close combat because He wants us to know that relationship with him is not as easy as putting a coin in the candy machine. To know God is to struggle with him in the difficulties of life. To hear from him and be near to him doesn’t always mean that we sing nice, sweet Christian songs all the time.

Sometimes we are perplexed by His actions, and we question him like Job, David, Jonah, Jeremiah, Peter, Martha and others did in the Bible. To question God and wrestle with him means that we are interacting with him, which results in radical life change. You don’t come away from interaction with God without transformation.

Anyone else in favor of a name change?

Compass God, defining my true north,
As I walk, believing you are leading me, but unsure of the direction,
Create the path that forms me into the image of Christ.
Even in my uncertainty,
Even in my poor sense of direction,
I feel confident that the path you create will
Re-form me into a living picture of the One
Who makes crooked paths straight.
Amen

Lord of the blind,

I’m grateful that you have chosen to hang around, offering your healing for the scales that cover my vision. I guess you’ve noticed that I’ve desired to try things on my own, just to see if I could handle living life with the scales in place. Sure, my vision is poor, but I get that sense of accomplishment from trying to go at it on my own.

My prayer is a confession: I am more comfortable with doing things my way, blindly, than I am with experiencing your healing and walking in the freedom of sight. I suspect that you have some extraordinary plans for the future, once I’m depending on seeing things by your light, but I’m lacking the faith to make the jump into that future.

I join the apostles and a long list of your people who have said, “Increase my faith!”

Amen.

If you have never had a friend decide to become a missionary, then you are missing out. I am one of the lucky ones who can say that I saw the Alex family pack their bags and respond to God’s call to move to Estonia.

“Where?” Estonia is located on Earth. However, there is a lot of water between here and there. Plus it’s a lot colder, and the sun apparently doesn’t know how to handle itself over there. Other than that, it is a perfectly normal place.

Brian and Renee have believed what they heard from God over the past year, that He was about to do something miles beyond their expectations. Now He has done exactly that. He is sending them to the beautiful country of Estonia, which is about 5000 miles beyond their expectations. I’ll let their web site tell you the story of where they are going and what they’ll be doing.

Stop by and visit http://www.mescea.com for the lowdown. If you feel led to do so, please click on the Provision link and consider how you could help financially with the start up costs. Even a small amount can cover an important part of their budget (which is available here).

The faith journey they have been on has been a great encouragement to Krista and me. God has been showing us a lot through them. We are learning more about trusting God, listening to God, and remaining open to the great possibilities that are wrapped up in God’s purposes for us.

Please take a moment this week (and the days ahead) to remember Brian, Renee, Emily and Abigail as they uproot and move to another country to help people in Europe experience God.

I was listening to a friend of mine yesterday (we’ll call him “Michael”, since that is his name) tell about his grandmother’s recent health problems and her stay in the hospital. After he explained everything, I hesitated to give the standard Christian answer, “I will be praying for her.”

I don’t judge anyone else for saying that, but when I say that it means only one thing: I’ll probably forget about it until the next time I see you. I have a difficult time remembering things, whether it’s to-do lists, prayer requests, dates on the calendar, or putting on deodorant in the morning. So if I ever tell you that I will be praying for you, just nod and wink, because you know I’m just talking to fill space.

One option is the recommendation from my friend Debbie that you tell them you have been praying for them after the fact, instead of a shaky promise of a forthcoming prayer somewhere in the distant future. Another approach is to pray for them on the spot, which guarantees you won’t forget, unless your short-term memory is like the guy from the movie Memento. For me, either one is better than the empty prayer promise that I have resorted to in the past.

On that note, the “weakly prayer” this week is for Nana:

Healer God, Yahweh Rapha,

You know how sickness wrecks havoc on our lives, and you have touched the sick many times over (thank you for Jesus, who never hesitated to touch the untouchable lepers, to make them well). Please apply your healing power to Nana’s heart, lungs, and other organs. You know her and love her, and I pray that she would know You and love You more fully through this sickness. Amen.